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[OOM] Obvious To Anyone But Him
Aug. 16th, 2021 11:41 amOnce they had finally put in at a small town and arranged a stay in a barn of all places, the noble Hanguang-jun made sure the terrible Yiling Patriarch was bedded down and not getting up anytime soon.
Once he was certain Wei Ying slept, Lan Zhan went out to get some air, staying near by. There was a creek nearby, and the sound of water over stone was soothing. Everything at Lotus Pier had tested him -- both of them -- and with the knowledge of what had been done... What he had never been told... He needed to be soothed, that was certain.
Guilt was not a feeling he was accustomed to. Lan Zhan lived by the Lan motto of 'Be Righteous,' and that rarely meant there was anything to be guilty about. But now? Now he felt guilty for so many reasons, and this just compounded on the largest one of all.
If he loved Wei Ying so much, how could he have not seen? Not hear him and understand? Lan Zhan had no answers for that, and as his mind circled around another fateful night, and the words that were spoken there, and found his answer to his blindness. He could not see, because he would not see; he had failed the Lan motto completely.
The whip might have flayed the sin with his skin, but he still felt the scars of both move when he hid his face from the full moon in his hands, breathing deeply as he wrangled his emotions. A moment later he stood at attention, trying to focus on standing watch than the tumult ratting his heart around his ribs.
He should have known. Wei Ying all but told him. He should have known.
Once he was certain Wei Ying slept, Lan Zhan went out to get some air, staying near by. There was a creek nearby, and the sound of water over stone was soothing. Everything at Lotus Pier had tested him -- both of them -- and with the knowledge of what had been done... What he had never been told... He needed to be soothed, that was certain.
Guilt was not a feeling he was accustomed to. Lan Zhan lived by the Lan motto of 'Be Righteous,' and that rarely meant there was anything to be guilty about. But now? Now he felt guilty for so many reasons, and this just compounded on the largest one of all.
If he loved Wei Ying so much, how could he have not seen? Not hear him and understand? Lan Zhan had no answers for that, and as his mind circled around another fateful night, and the words that were spoken there, and found his answer to his blindness. He could not see, because he would not see; he had failed the Lan motto completely.
The whip might have flayed the sin with his skin, but he still felt the scars of both move when he hid his face from the full moon in his hands, breathing deeply as he wrangled his emotions. A moment later he stood at attention, trying to focus on standing watch than the tumult ratting his heart around his ribs.
He should have known. Wei Ying all but told him. He should have known.
