thesecondjade | [OOM] Cultivate Virtue in the Family, and it will be Overflowing

[OOM] Cultivate Virtue in the Family, and it will be Overflowing

Lan Zhan was under house arrest.

The jingshi is his again -- he is imprisoned there, his jade charm removed. The Elders believe he cannot escape the wards, and honestly, he doesn't care to. He doesn't need to. He knows at any time, he could leave. Anytime, he could ask. The Bar answered once, and the Bar will do so again. It will not leave A-Yuan fatherless. It knows too much is at stake.

He tends to his own wounds like the elders convene, puts all of his old clothing with it's bright blues and crisp, expensive whites into the brazier and pulls out his thin, mourning whites. He is dressed for a funeral. Potentially his own, he knows, but... if that is it, so be it. He has only one future he must secure now, and it is not his own.

Lan Zhan makes his last preparations. He takes his guqin and cuts its strings, a message to all that will see it. The cord is cut between him and Wei Wuxian, and this guqin that bore his same name will never sing again. Then he traces his most potent wards, infusing them with all the energy he can spare and still be functional. No one will find his cache of treasures, hidden beneath the jingshi floorboards. No one would bother to look, anyway. No one suspects Lan Zhan of sentimentality.

Then he waits. Lan Xichen will come to him when it is time. They will try to take his pride, may yet take his life, but there is only one thing that matters now: the child in need. So he waits, kneeling before the open doors of the jingshi in silence, while guards are posted at the gates to his courtyard.

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Lan Xichen is quiet as he comes. There's an exhaustion, a defeat in his frame that hasn't been there since the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign.

His brother... has done something unthinkable. Unexcusable. For entirely understandable reasons, but... he hurt the elders of their clan, without remorse. Wei Wuxian lost control at Nightless City, attacked all and sundry with resentful energy and the recent dead, caused untold grief, and broke his brother's heart when he died. Lan Xichen could find it in himself to hate the man, if he hadn't seen Wei Wuxian's broken grief for himself in that last furious stand.

But the punishment that is being required is too much. Thirty-three lashes the the discipline whip - absolutely unheard of, a savage punishment, potentially lethal. He's spent all of his time since the punishment was recommended until now arguing for forgiveness, for mitigation, for... something, anything, anything other than the tragedy that is bearing down. He is finding, too late, that while he might bear the weight of maintaining the strength of the Lans outside of Cloud Recesses, his power within the clan is... not nearly so formidable. The thought that he might lose his little brother tears at him.

The thought he might already have grinds salt into the wounds. His little brother, so quiet after so much rage, all in mourning white, casts a somber figure in the jingshi's doorway.

"Wangji." He calls, soft.

The acrid scent of burnt silk and linens, the brazier having consumed anything else he might wear, wreaths Lan Zhan in it's heavy stink. He does not seem to care, as stone-faced as ever. He rises as Lan Xichen comes into the courtyard, dipping himself in a bow. Formal, though one arm is too stiff due to injury.

"Lan-zongzhu," he says. He is not here, as his brother. He's here as a Sect leader to inform him of his punishment, and will be addressed as such.

Lan Xichen pauses, to take in the scene. It makes him want to turn on his heel, march back to the elders and their uncle and cry that Lan Wangji has suffered enough, can't they see it? He longs to cradle the now-voiceless guqin the one that he's seen his brother laboriously learn songs of healing, songs of power.

He longs to cradle his now-mourning brother, who gave so much of his heart to those who didn't stay to care for it as they should.

He takes a deep breath to steel himself. In this moment he could hate his uncle, hate those elders who sent him here. As clan leader, it is his duty to declare judgement. As clan leader, he could not soften it, despite his heart's desire. He would like to ask the guards to leave, give them a moment (just a moment!) but he knows the clan's anger.

"Lan Wangji, a decision has been reached regarding your punishment." Lan Xichen manages, the agony of his heart only visible in his expression, in the weariness of his stance. His voice is calm as a winter lake, frozen after the storm.

"This one is prepared," Lan Zhan says, glacial cold filling the distance between them. There is no changing this one; he is as steady as stone and he is unafraid.

He knows what he did.

He would do it again.

He will, given the chance.

Lan Xichen does not break - only wishes he could, that he could set this aside and walk away.

"To atone for his crimes, Lan Wangji is sentenced to punishment by use of the discipline whip - one lash, for every elder he raised his hand against."

Oh Wangji, I'm so sorry.

There is not a hint of despair. Lan Zhan so far beyond it now, that he has come out the otherside, emptied of feeling. He can't feel sorry for himself. He yet lives! He might yet do one more act of good here.

"When it comes time to kneel, I will kneel," Lan Zhan says. Then, finally, he meets his brother's gaze. "Will you walk with me a moment?"

There is no where he can go -- there is a copse of bamboo behind the jingshi, but it is tucked against the mountain. It had been built to be a prison, after all, for a wife who wanted no wedding. With Bichen taken from him, he could no more soar away than their mother once could

Edited 2020-11-02 06:00 (UTC)

"Yes." He's so ridiculously thankful for the chance to stay close, for not being immediately sent away - it would be well within Lan Wangji's limited rights to refuse to see him, to see anyone, until the time for punishment came. "Yes I will."

One of the guards shifts as if to follow, but subsides at Lan Xichen's glare.

Lan Xichen shifts closer, to offer a hand up, to offer... what's left of him, after duty has taken its toll.

The hand is ignored. Lan Zhan rises smoothly without assistance, and takes his steps down from the jingshi steadily. For all that he is wounded and battered, certainly exhausted, he is still the Second Jade of Lan. Proud, unyielding, and unfeeling.

Lan Zhan walks as if he carries Bichen, even if the sword is elsewhere. One hand at the small of his back, in a fist. The other at his side. There is no support required or requested. He takes his is steps down and leads them out and behind the jingshi.

"There is something I need you to do for me," he says, as he steps carefully into the bamboo.

Proud an unyielding, sure, Lan Xichen has known that for years. He also knows that the 'unfeeling' portion of that story is a lie, and always has been.

He's just lost his brother's trust, and the chance to know what those feelings are. He doesn't have any right to it, but he mourns the loss all the same.

"What is it?" He asks, hoping desperately that it is something he can grant. The shackles of his position are heavy today.

"There is a single Wen survivor," he says, voice kept hushed despite the rustling of bamboo being an effective block against eavesdropping. "A child. He was taken to safety."

Lan Zhan took him to safety, he means. But Lan Xichen will know.

"He was very ill, and needs further care," Lan Zhan continued unperturbed. "I will kneel for the whip, but you must give me your word that he will be taken in, cared for, and made a Lan."

Then he says: "This is not a negotiation. If we walk further into the copse, I will vanish, out of reach forever, and you will not see me again. This is the last thing you can give me. If you cannot, I will know the truth and turn my back to the Sect."

What Lan Wangji is saying is impossible. Impossible that there is a survivor, impossible that he can somehow escape the Cloud Recesses from here, impossible that he would just... go.

But his brother is not a liar. Lan Wangji is many things - an esteemed scholar, a secret romantic, a peerless warrior, a bullheaded mule... but not a liar.

So whatever Lan Xichen might think about these claims, Lan Wangji fully believes that they are true. Believes that there is a Wen child, ill and alone. Believes that he has the power to abandon everything that he has known, and has the will to do it. Lan Xichen must start from there. Even if it all turns out to be delusions of grief later, that will not help the now.

"You want me to declare a Wen child one of our own?"

"I want you to declare him my son, for if I survive, that's what he will be," Lan Zhan says without a second thought. It's already done in his mind, and this can only end in two ways. "His origins matter not. He is mine."

They keep walking, the wind becoming heavier with moisture where there is no lake or stream here. There is the rustle of wildlife in the distance, where there should be none.

"If I survive the lash, bring me to the jingshi. When I am able I will cross this border between this world and another, fetch him, and bring him here," Lan Zhan continues as he finally stops, looking across the copse-- to where there is still daylight across a Scottish heather beyond dense trees that should not exist here. "If I do not, he will be spirited away to another place, to be raised in a world not his own."

"You want me to declare him a presumptive heir to the Gusu Lan." He instinctively wants to say no, of course not, the elders would never support this. He watched the Wen burn his home, kill his clan members. The name brings up an knee-jerk refusal that he bites his teeth down onto, because no.

This isn't a grown Wen cultivator, claiming Gusu Lan despite a long and bloody war.

This is a child.

A child is not guilty for the sins of its elders. It cannot be. He has to believe this, or he has sins of his fathers to atone for.

Lan Xichen stares at this space that should not be, daylight of the wrong quality, plants he does not recognize, and knows that there is a very good chance he will lose his little brother.

"This place you have the child hidden - does it have robes appropriate for Gusu Lan?" During the Sunshot Campaign, Lan Xichen earned a reputation for pulling off daring rescues and narrow escapes. Surely he could pull off one more, if it meant having some hope that he'd still have his brother at the end of it.

"Yes. He can be disguised easily. If you need, declare another heir if you must," Lan Zhan says without hesitation. He is willing to surrender all that he has been his entire life for this. "Whip me and disgrace me, cast me out. The boy's life -- happiness -- is far more important. All he has known is labor. Strapped to his grandmother's back in the Jin work camp. Digging grave dirt as he grew. The Jin would hang him next to his elders, and for what?"

For being born Dafan Wen.

"Do this for me. Remind me why we use the words Be Righteous." Because nothing has felt righteous in Cloud Recesses for a long time now. "Don't compromise on true justice -- which is tempered with compassion. Otherwise, all you get is revenge."

He'll let Uncle have his revenge. But the boy needs justice. Real justice.

"If I do not survive, he vanishes," Lan Zhan repeats, knowing there is no certainty that he will come out the other side of this alive. "But if I live, this is the one thing I ask. I will stay in seclusion if that is required. I will be the Second Jade of Lan once more. But not without him."

Edited 2020-11-02 18:43 (UTC)

Lan Xichen is so tired. So tired of all of this discord and anger, tired that a war that ended years ago is still raging inside his home, tired of being the one who has to find an answer that pleases all parties when all parties refuse to be pleased.

"Survive." He chokes out, his veneer of calm cracking like fine porcelain. "I will do this for you, Wangji, but you must survive."

"If my will alone enough, I will not die." Because he has this to live for. This thing that needs him alive to see through.

He looks across the space of between, and says, "Do not tell Jin Guangyao you have seen the way. I'm not the only one who walks this path. If he tries to lead, do not follow. There are many there who will not forgive the slaughter of Wen. I would not see you caught in it."

There will be consequences. They should not fall on Lan Xichen.

Lan Xichen could protest that he had nothing to do with the destruction of the Wens, that Jin Guangyao could hardly have stopped the slaughter, but... they both know one man would have tried. That one man who is the point of contention now, even after he is dead.

"What is the child's name?" He asks, veering away from the specter of that man who could still separate them, just by being mentioned.

"Wen Yuan," he says, tiredness seeping into his voice as he realizes he's won, if at great cost. "He is Wen Yuan. He will be--- he will be Lan Sizhui, when it is time."

He will not speak that other man's name without the bounds of Cloud Recesses, ever again.

"Lan Yuan." Lan Xichen replies, firm. He has lost so many battles recently, seen so much death and anger and despair, and he wants it over. He will defend his brother's chosen son where he cannot defend his brother. It is true, there are many orphans these days, and at this point it would not be difficult to insinuate there is an heir, of their blood, that has not been previously claimed. A moment's temptation, a difficult war... the story would come easily from the lips of others without him having to say barely a word.

"Your son, Lan Yuan." Safety lies in playing this boldly. If there is any hesitation in claiming the boy, some might wonder why. Being born a bastard is not reason enough - if he was truly shameful, the boy would never be claimed, so their story would start to fall apart. "The less details about the mother, the better - there will be five explanations and ten counterpoints within a week, and anyone concerned will be too busy focusing on that to think to protest."

"I'm glad you understand," Lan Zhan says, eye closing in wearied relief. Yes. Let him be his bastard, let him be anything they want to say. "I was seen in Yiling with him, and all swore I was his father. He clung to my leg and cried for me to comfort him."

There is an exhale, a breathless laugh. "They scolded me for being a poor father."

Lan Xichen does not pinch the bridge of his nose, but only because he has been forced to be a diplomat for far too long.

"Well, at least there will be some rapport between you." He had been somewhat afraid that the child would come and not know to look to anyone for comfort.

"And you know that he must never state that he is a Wen? Never be told it, never have it reinforced? It will be... years, decades, before that clan's name will be spoken without blinding hatred behind it."

"Yes," he says, faintly, eyes closing to treasure that stupid memory, because it has Wei Wuxian smiling in it. "He will be Lan Yuan, and I will go from Rich-gege, to Father."

That brings him to a final matter: "I was supporting the Burial Mound villages with my stipends. Help is bought very cheaply, across the threshold. But it was injustice to let them starve or freeze."

This brings up the obvious that he will not speak of: he was seeing Wei Wuxian in secret. This casts all sorts of new light on his behavior, but he is certain it no longer matters. Wei Wuxian is dead, his heart sundered with him.

Lan Xichen is not so cruel as to point out that if even with this added aid Wei Wuxian lost control, there was truly nothing to be done. He has sat with enough grieving widowers to know that logic plays very little into that reasoning. But his heart does bleed for his brother, who has tried so hard, and repaid so poorly.

"It would be helpful if you could take up some small habit or hobby. Enough that the funds withdrawn do not suddenly decrease." He does not suggest informing Lan Qiren of the true use of this particular expense - he has spent so long keeping the elders from asking for worse punishment.

When he comes out the other side of this, he will if not know, he will understand where he failed and why. Or at least, he will think he knows.

"There will be expenses for a child, now," he says instead, always favoring a twisted truth instead of an outright lie. "Let it have been secret support for him. It is, after all, true."

"As you wish." He cannot grant much, with the shackles of clan responsibility weighing his every move, but this is within his power. "Though when I thought of it, I expected some warning before gaining a nephew."

"Adoption was the only way you could get one," Lan Zhan says, turning his back on the threshold and walking back toward the jingshi. "After our last discussion, I thought I would just settle into teaching and forget the rest."

There would be no wife, and with no wife there are no children.

"Now, you have a nephew. He is a good, smart boy," Lan Zhan says. "He was... he was sick, very ill, when I found him. I was able to summon a threshold, and get him to the safe place beyond. They have good medicine, and kind people who are tending to him."

So if he survives, he knows that he will be well enough for travel. There is no way they'll let A-Yuan die.

"I will care for him, while you recover." Lan Xichen refuses to think about his brother dying under the lash, refuses to accept that can be an option. He also refuses to place the child under the care of Lan Qiren - he will always love his uncle, and revere him as the closest thing he has to a true father figure, but he knows Lan Wangji would never accept it. Not now. Probably never again.

Lan Xichen's small family is fractured in so many ways, and even with all of his effort, he is only barely holding it together. He stays at his brother's side, not wanting to hurry this moment on.

"Mn." Lan Zhan is in no rush to return to the jingshi - half because he is exhausted and he needs all his spare strength to survive what it coming, half because he knows once he's on the otherside of this, he will never look at his family the same way again. For now he can delude himself that this will be survivable, that he will not be entirely changed by it.

He will be wrong, and he knows it. But he wants to believe that he will still be able to pursue justice without regret.

It's not the first lie he's told himself.

Edited 2020-11-02 21:54 (UTC)

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[OOM] Cultivate Virtue in the Family, and it will be Overflowing

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