[OOM] Cold Compromise
Oct. 14th, 2020 10:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thesecondjadeOnce he was through the wood, trees gave way to thick bamboo stalks, and then to the coolness of Cloud Recesses. It was the ideal return, honestly; he could quickly strip and soak himself to regain his control. With the freezing waters keeping him from feeling hot shame breathing against his neck, he can find calm. It's hard to focus on literally anything except one's body when one is chest deep in icy waters.
It was only after he had forced himself into a state of calm that he felt like he was fully back in control. Wei Ying knew now: that was ultimately meanginessly. Lan Zhan never expected him to ever look his way. What would he do? Be the qidi to Lan Zhan's qixiong? Foolishness. Wei Ying asked for his friendship with one hand and spurned it with another. There was something deeply wrong with him, besides.
Something that Lan Zhan cannot mend. Hopelessness settles in his belly like ice, but it's hard to care when the rest of him is already so very cold.
Eventually, he dried himself off and dressed, picking his way up the hill a bit to seat himself among the rabbits.
"Have a word with Tu'er Shen, and ask him to spare me some kindness," he said to one rabbit, stroking it's ears. "Make Wei Ying forget me, and let my heart go."
The rabbit just nibbled on grass from his hand, and both sat in silence as the sun chased the western horizon.
It was only after he had forced himself into a state of calm that he felt like he was fully back in control. Wei Ying knew now: that was ultimately meanginessly. Lan Zhan never expected him to ever look his way. What would he do? Be the qidi to Lan Zhan's qixiong? Foolishness. Wei Ying asked for his friendship with one hand and spurned it with another. There was something deeply wrong with him, besides.
Something that Lan Zhan cannot mend. Hopelessness settles in his belly like ice, but it's hard to care when the rest of him is already so very cold.
Eventually, he dried himself off and dressed, picking his way up the hill a bit to seat himself among the rabbits.
"Have a word with Tu'er Shen, and ask him to spare me some kindness," he said to one rabbit, stroking it's ears. "Make Wei Ying forget me, and let my heart go."
The rabbit just nibbled on grass from his hand, and both sat in silence as the sun chased the western horizon.
